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Why men in Uganda can’t stop peeing in public

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I am not liking the direction that this business of economic slowdown, economic downturn, economic crisis, economic this and economic that is taking.  Not just me, all the women in Uganda do not like it. It is giving men a license to behave in awfully.

We agree everybody is hard up. But if we all are, why should some people make others suffer more as if they are the cause of the economic woes?

Wherever you pass in many urban areas, you are hit by the strong stench of urine. I have been enquiring about this and the explanation has finally come, officially, that men can no longer afford to pay for the public toilets at Sh200 (Ksh 5) per leak.

That is why whenever they feel the slightest irritation in the bladder they just unzip and spray the nearest wall.

Several times in the past week local televisions in Kampala have shown us men doing their thing freely against walls in different towns. They are not even slightly ashamed. They stare unconcerned in the camera as they finish the last motions, re-pack their offensive organs, zip up, stretch a bit and walk off. I want to cane them! How dare you irrigate walls, even as children watch?

I recently read about a place, I think it was Italy, where they have designed a special paint that sprays back at you all the stuff plus some more should urinate against a wall that has been treated.

You see, the problem is not just Ugandan men, but men worldwide. But the problem is that if you go unzipping in a town where there is no drainage, and we only count on the sun to evaporate the stuff, it ends up our noses!

In India, they have intensified a « decorate and shame » campaign against the men who unzip and release against walls in public. Special Police personnel now move with flower garlands which they put around your neck to wear around the whole day, and woe unto you if you dare remove it.

So if you have been scolding your kids for small mistakes and they see you wearing a public urinator’s garland around your neck, you are likely to behave properly for the rest of your life.

But the Indian strategy cannot work in Uganda. For the money to procure the garlands of shame would be stolen by the officials concerned.

In case they buy some, they would be dismantled and converted into cheap wreaths to sell to mourners. There has been an increase in murders all over the country with victims of senseless violence being buried every day.

It is really vexing. What I don’t understand is why only men urinate in public. Does it mean women have no bladders? Or are women the rich enough to use public pay toilets. And why do men do it against walls? Why don’t they do it on the tarmac road where it would dry more quickly?

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